I was always confused on my own future. But NOT anymore.
After a series of issues I met, I started to talk to myself.
Issues I met
- Finished 2 goals of coding
- Went to travel for half a month
- Lost my MacBook Pro, and all the data inside
- Videos from “Positive Psychology” by Tal, Harvard University
- An article called “How come you give up in the halfway all the time?” from Xiaolai Li
- A wonderful chat with my wife last night
- Meditation
I got inefficient these days, because of the issued 0, 1 and 2. Now as I’m browsing new job opportunities, I feel not confident. Last night, thanks for my wife, we talked a lot.
We’re now living in America. She is the research scholar while I’m a sponsor. She continues working here while I gave up my last job. Yes, I’m unemployed, and I haven’t made money for a long time.
Neither my wife nor me have strong awareness on financial stuff. Me worse. Since we married, we never talked about the details. But last night, we talked. She helped calculating the incomes I got these years, analyzed it, making me realize the cold fact - I just afforded the basic stuffs - food, half of the house rent. As for the diseased my parents met, which cost about ￥60,000 or more, I actually had no strong support on it; it means my wife and her sister helped me A LOT.
I always look myself as a responsive man. I could try my best to finish the works before deadline, I don’t speak much, but I look important on what I’ve said, and go for it every time. But the fact that I’ve mentioned last paragraph has told me: I’m not.
Since we traveled for 9 months in 2013, I had got 2 more work experiences. But I also got 2 other 9-months unemployed periods. I never thought about the fact that I didn’t make enough money for my family. I don’t deserve such a life I’m enjoying. Before I just unconsciously avoided thinking about the fact, until my wife obviously spoke out it.
I gotta get a job now. It’s the most important thing I need to do!!!
I don’t want to avoid any more. I should give myself clear details
Advantages after I get a new job
- I can make more money, which can give me freedom on the stuffs I want, the preparation for the urgent issues, more choices about the possibility of the thing we want to experience
- Security, for me and my family
- I have chances to learn more from the company by working with other developers
- The greatest opportunity to learn English and know more American culture
- I can handle my life, I can control the direction of both me and my family, instead of always being controlled by other people or the fate
- I can get more experiences on Front-end Development, I can get more money in future
- Easier to get more opportunities on career
Disadvantages if I don’t get a new job
- I feel anxious
- It’s harder for me to be hired because I’ve been unemployed for a long time, for many times
- The money is not enough, I have to ask for help, which is definitely uncomfortable
- I waste the best time to experience the English environment, the best period to struggle for my life
- I’m not confident for job and much more things
- My front-end skills grows slowly, because I’m always playing with my self
- My family will worry about me, other people will look down to me
- I don’t dare to buy anything I want
So I really, really, really must get hired immediately. How?
- Stop Learn Python the Hard Way for a while, because I cannot handle it in a short time, and I need prepare for the interviews these days
- Go to 一亩三分地 , learn, not just search, the experiences other people shared about the ways to get hired. I’m not confident, not only because of my character, but because I know nothing about the upcoming interviews
- Do Codewars, Udacity Technical Interviews everyday, fill up with my daily life by using these Pomodoros, up to 18, at least 12; most time should be 16. I really, really, really need much time studying these
- Conclude what I’ve learned. I even should learn Udacity Front-end Web Development for 1 more time
- Do as much as I can to speak, listen, write, read English, instead of Chinese
